Links, AKA: the world is a strange and wonderful place

January 17, 2014 at 6:38 am | Posted in News, real life | 2 Comments
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Morning, tiddlywinks. I’m on holidays now, I don’t go back to work for 10 days. I am delighted by this prospect. I have been up since 6.30 am, which is not really what people like to do on the first day of their holidays, but the reason is fairly simple: I have an overseas visitor arriving tomorrow, and a novel to finish by this afternoon. Both those things will definitely happen! If it kills me.

But while I sit here and wake up enough to dive into the world of manly men who shear sheep, I bring you some news items from my part of the world, for your reading pleasure.

These first two fall under the category of “It’s a wonder any male in Australia is still alive, that’s how dumb they are”:

A naked man got stuck in a washing machine and was freed when the firemen called to the scene covered him in olive oil

I mean, what can you say about this one. Firemen covering people in olive oil sounds like the start of a porn film I’d like to see, but really, those poor firemen. I’m quite sure they don’t get paid enough for that.

A Queensland man put a budgie cage on his head and went swimming with a tiger shark

Moron. The video of it is ridiculous. The worst part about it is that man is married. His poor wife.

As for hilarious happenings in New Zealand:

A customer pissed a Southland baker off, and got a poo cake in return

Fortunately not a cake made of poo, but a cake made in the–very realistic–likeness of poo. It had a little sign sticking out of it too, but I’ll let you discover what that said on your own. The two best things about it was the baker was entirely unrepentant at having done it, saying that client “deserved what she got”, and the comment of someone from the Chamber of Commerce in Southland, who said, “This time of year people get a bit stressed”. Fantastic.

Why yes, a member of Frankie Goes to Hollywood does live in Auckland, thanks for asking 

Don’t think that everyone I know who was a teenager in the 80s hasn’t considered staking out Oneroa to catch him down the shops. Including me.

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Tectonic plate shifts can bite me

September 5, 2010 at 2:11 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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I have said before that I’m periodically disturbed by the fact that I live in a country that has such a high level of volcanic and earthquake activity. Unfortunate things tend to happen in New Zealand – whole cities get completely flattened by earthquakes, whole landscapes get destroyed by eruptions. This does not please me.

Yesterday morning at 4.30am there was a 7.1 magnitude earthquake just outside of Christchurch. Probably due to the time of the morning, no one was hurt (the Hawke’s Bay earthquake which flattened Napier happened at 10.30am, and killed 256 people), which was excellent, but apparently it was pretty scary. The very definition of a rude awakening.

Some of the pictures are really incredible.We’ve got lots of damaged buildings, some incredibly disturbing cracks in the road and ground, and bridges twisted beyond repair.

Mother nature is really incredible, and we are insignificant in comparison.

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